Ollie Ollie Ollie is My NameOh!

My turn, my turn my turn!!! Hi! I’m Ollie! I’m the tall one (don’t tell Russell I said that! He thinks he’s the biggest dog in the whole wide world!). Hey, did you know that “Russell” does NOT mean “Pawesome” like Russell said it does?? TMW told me that he was just saying that. Boy! Next she’ll tell me that it doesn’t actually say that Russell’s name is the definition of “Alpha dog” in the dictionary!

Russell’s really really really really smart! He knows EVERYTHING. Did you know that “Ollie” really means “Bird Brain”? I don’t really know what that means, but I think it means that I’m really smart when it comes to birds! HEY, did you know there are a BUNCH of HUGE METAL BIRDS that fly over our yard??? No matter WHAT I try, I can’t catch them!!! Russell says they’re not birds and that our humans actually FLY around the country (and the world in Alpha Mom and Alpha Male’s case) in them! He may know a lot, but that’s just silly!

OH Today one of the WORST things in the whole wide world happened! TMW grabbed mine own paws!! She kept grabbing it and grabbing it no matter if I pulled it away or not! It was HORRIBLE. Russell doesn’t like it much either when TW or TMW grab our own paws. And can you believe it, TMW claims that her face does NOT need my kisses! But it does! Her face ALWAYS needs my kisses! TW doesn’t really care unless I accidentally step on or get tangled in her tails (or on the bag that smells like Russell’s bum). I try not to tangle, but I just get SO EXCITED sometimes. Russell’s working with me on that. I know there’s something special about TW’s tails. When I first met her, she was at the people vet hospital place. She smelled funny, and she was connected to a MOVING TREE with a BUNCH of big fruits-one was yellow, one was white, and a BUNCH was clear. The fruits were connected to the bigger whirrers connected to the tree by tails that went through the tree whirrers and to TW. I think that’s how she eats! But ANYWAYS. Russell says I get off topic a LOT, but I don’t think that’s so. I just get so excited about so many things I want to tell him about like yesterday there was this HUGE beetle that sprayed some stuff on me that smelled like poop. The poop-sprayer beetle didn’t really like when I picked him up and played with him. Snails don’t really care. Snails taste good! TW says you can tell I’m a pedigree who’s original family came from France because I sure have a liking to ess-car-go. What is ess-car-go? I know what cars are. They are like big beetles that the humans get into and run all over the place in. I love riding in the car! And I love TW. And TMW. TW is MY bestest bud and owner for forever! She did smell funny when I first met her, but it didn’t take long for us to make that special pet-owner connection. I got to meet her at the people vet hospital place a few times. I couldn’t wait to go visit her ALL THE TIME! I knew when Alpha Male loaded me into the special doggie cage I haven’t figured out how to get out from we were going to visit TW. I don’t know why they wouldn’t let me just stay with her there. She always looked so so SO sad when Alpha Male had to take me home again. I was sad too. I missed TW SO SO much whenever we had to go back home.

HEY You wanna’ know the most pawesome-est game in the world??  It’s SUPER fun, and with how much Russell talks about it, I think he likes it too! It gets kinda complicated, so make sure you follow along. First, you get a stick or a piece of sprinkler pipe. Next, you whack Russell on the head with the pipe/stick. Isn’t that a great game?? I love love love love love love love it!

OH OH OH!!!!! Did you know Russell thinks a squirrel living right behind the fence in the evil doggie prison the humans keep calling a dog-run. But there’s NO room to run in there! We have to go into Doggie Prison whenever more humans come to eat super-yummy treats. I saw my first little human puppy. I think they are the Chihuahua breed of humans. I get really weirded out by them. I stuck behind them the whole time. They had no idea I was there. Even though I ran into them a lot of times…their bums do smell better than Russell’s, though. Russell tells me he smells very attractive to girl dogs. I dunno, the only girl dogs Russell really knows want to come over the fence and attack him…maybe there’s something to this “bath” thing the humans like giving us so much. They are scary, baths. Not like the squirrel Russell thinks is a dog-The squirrel’s name is Dr. Squirreleloo. Russell thinks the squirrel is another dog that smells like a squirrel because he never misses whenever a squirrel goes into his yard. Isn’t he silly?

Uh oh! I hear Alpha Mom waking up! I’d better skedaddle! BYE!!